I made it home from a premarital session with a couple getting ready to begin their lives together in marriage. We had spent the last several weeks going over many different concepts, strategies, personality profiles, and anything else that will equip them for a successful marriage. One goal of these counseling sessions is to help them understand how to build a resilient marriage. One word we were reminded of over and over in this session was resilient. Then it hit me. We may have been talking about marriage but this sure does apply to a disciple of Jesus.
Recently I was listening to a podcast and the person being interviewed said the following statement, “I may have Jesus in my heart but grandpa still lives in my bones.” That statement has stuck to me like pine sap from a pine tree. So much truth in that statement! Jesus tells us when we give our lives over to Him we are a new creation. We now have a new nature. However, when my old nature rears its ugly head, I have to admit Grandpa still lives in my bones. Does grandpa still live in your bones or is just me?
Moses was a fascinating leader. He led a million people wandering around in the wilderness for 40 years. Doesn’t that sound like a 40 year journey of fun, excitement, and pure joy? While the people experienced God’s presence, they still complained about their conditions, God’s provision and God’s care for them. Moses had an honest exchange with God. He told God about these “stiff-necked” people He gave to him. Moses was given the 10 commandments. Moses saw the people turn to idols. Moses had a moment where grandpa came out and he struck a rock that cost him. Moses loved God but in this one moment of frustration, grandpa came out costing him the ability to lead the people into the promised land.
What does this grandpa moment do to us? It costs us something every time. How should we respond? Confession and repentance is a great starting point. “We may have Jesus in our heart but grandpa still lives in our bones.” A disciple lives in a new reality as a new creation. Now our life is a constant rhythm of confession and repentance. Confession and repentance builds resiliency. The winds blow, grandpa comes out, we move into living as an orphan instead of an adopted son or daughter. What do we do? We confess. We repent. We develop and deepen a life of resilient humility.
South Florida is a beautiful place. What amazes me is the resiliency of their palm trees. Think about it. Hurricane after hurricane literally blows through the state and the palm trees are still standing. We need this type of resiliency as a disciple. Confession and repentance are two disciplines that will build resiliency.
Richard Foster brings this to light in his classic book Celebration of Discipline:
“Confession is a difficult Discipline for us because we all too often view the believing community as a fellowship of saints before we see it as a fellowship of sinners. We feel that everyone else has advanced so far into holiness that we are isolated and alone in our sin. We cannot bear to reveal our failures and shortcomings to others. We imagine that we are the only ones who have not stepped onto the high road to heaven. Therefore, we hide ourselves from one another and live in veiled lies and hypocrisy.” 1
That last line is a truth bomb. Don’t we hide? Don’t we live with a mask on our face? Don’t we walk around like everything is ok when it really is falling apart? Just like our marriage. Grandpa spoke ugly words. Grandpa wounded a heart. And because of pride we do not let another trusted brother or sister in Christ know the struggle. So, we go on day after day and the cancer of sin continues to grow. Sometimes in marriage it becomes unbearable. Sometimes it misleads us into terrible decisions that will affect the rest of our lives.
James gives us a resilient and truthful word. In my opinion, this is a verse of scripture that is not lived out in the life of a disciple. James 5:16 says:
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.”
Confess.
Pray.
Heal.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “Our brother … has been given to us to help us. He hears the confession of our sins in Christ’s stead and he forgives our sins in Christ’s name. He keeps the secret of our confession as God keeps it. When I go to my brother to confess, I am going to God.” 2
Confession is necessary. Confession breaks down pride in our life; pride that would otherwise destroy us. Confession leads us into humility. We sin against each other. We sin against each other in our marriages. We sin against God. Sin costs us something. We immediately have to move to confession and repentance. If you are married or not, you will do well if you follow these steps:
1. Say, “I’m Sorry.”
2. Repent.
3. Then ask, “Will you forgive me?”
James gives us this powerful verse. I believe James 5:16 is a verse that will heal us, release us, change us, and transform us. The reason we have not been healed is because we have not confessed to another and prayed. Richard Foster writes, “Confession begins in sorrow, but it ends in joy.” Why joy? Because it ends in a changed life. 3
“God is calling into being a Church that can openly confess its trial humanity and know the forgiving and empowering graces of Christ. Honesty leads to confession, and confession leads to change.” 4
Do you want to be a resilient disciple? Do you want to live a humble life? Do you want to be able to withstand the storms in your life? Confession and repentance is key. Listen, you may have Jesus in your heart but grandpa still lives in your bones. This is why we need Christ. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Dear fellow sojourner, let us step into a life of confession and repentance. Many of us still walk around in this life wounded. Confession and repentance lead to a transformed life.
To be honest, I want to hide. I want to keep my stuff to myself and God. However, I want to be healed. I want to be transformed. I have Jesus in my heart but grandpa still lives in my bones. That is exactly why I need to confess and repent. I want to be transformed by the power of Jesus.
[1] Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, revised edition 1978,1988 page 145
[2] Deitrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together p.112
[3] Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, revised edition 1978,1988 page 153
[4] Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, revised edition 1978,1988 page 157
This post originally appeared at: Confession & Repentance — The Bonhoeffer Project