Hear how we did it… and then take this idea, customize it, and try it out where you live!
Along with consistent prayer, one of the key on-ramps to living on mission locally is organizing parties!
Parties are pathways to relationships, community, and friendship.
By inviting people to socialize with us, barriers are broken down and we grow to appreciate and love one another.
And if we don’t operate from a heart of love and gratitude for our neighbors, we are going to find that they aren’t terribly interested in hearing about Jesus from us!
Shy People Can Party Too!
INTROVERTS – don’t stress out at this point!
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By parties, we mean anything that achieves the relationship goals noted above.
So, while a party could mean 80 people dancing the night away, more regularly it might be 15-20 people passing through your front yard during the course of an evening (like we had last week), or 6 people sharing in a game night, or even 2 of you having a cup of tea and a meaningful conversation.
We have hosted dozens and dozens of different types of parties over the years. We have found it to be one of our most effective ways of ‘sowing seed’ and discovering who is most open spiritually at any particular time.
At times we’ve had profound conversations during a party, and many times it has opened the way to spiritual conversations at a later date. Of course, we always see much relational growth.
And even if there aren’t clear breakthroughs in the days and weeks after a party, we trust that we are storing up a reservoir of love and goodwill, so that one day we will be positioned to help when someone becomes more open spiritually.
What If People Drink Too Much?
A fear that’s often expressed by Christians who hear about our party philosophy is, “What if your neighbors come round and drink a lot of alcohol and, you know, that reflects badly on you as the host?”
So, first off, your unchurched friends are not desperately waiting to snag an invite to come round to your home just so that they can become mindlessly drunk!
However, some of your unchurched friends might over-indulge when at a party. So, here’s what we do if it’s our party:
We don’t feel it’s our job to police other adults, unless something crazy extreme happens (which it never has). Instead, we focus on what we can control, which is our witness.
Some of your lost neighbors will overindulge (food, drink, fruity language, etc.) – but that doesn’t mean you need to copy them. Instead, be loving and kind throughout, and offer a different model of partying that they might want to imitate!
Often people use alcohol to relax, so instead of walking in fear, recognize that this might be a time when people let barriers down and are actually more open to meaningful conversations. We’ve found this often to be the case.
And if you’re still worried, remember how Jesus operated. We read in Luke 5:29-30 “Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, ‘Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?’”
We cannot expect the lost to live like believers until they are believers! This means that, as missionaries, we must find ways to be around people who are still in their sin, without them feeling shamed or judged by us. Instead, we graciously model a different way of living while showing that we can have even more fun!
If you are teetotal and find it difficult to be around people who are drinking (and that is a totally fine boundary to have), then just organize parties in ways where alcohol won’t be present. For instance, doing things where children are invited and/or which take place earlier in the day are good options. Some ideas would include ice cream parties, doing games together, pool parties, sharing a meal, going for a hike, visiting a beach or lake, and so on.
So don’t become hung up on this!
Drinks on the Front Lawn
A week ago we invited neighbors to join us for a drink on our front lawn one Friday evening. Here’s the text we sent:
What we’ve found is that some people will reply pretty quickly, a few will respond much later, and a chunk never reply! You can re-text the day of, depending on how pushy you want to be.
As we ran into people over the days before, we would verbally invite them.
What we provided:
- We put out a large plastic table, with a wipeable tablecloth
- Some outside lighting (in this case a table lamp)
- A speaker for music (we put on a Spotify playlist, ‘Jazz in the Background,’ which created a relaxed and welcoming sort of atmosphere)
- Plastic cups
- Spoons and a couple of serving knives (for food that required them)
- Corkscrew and bottle opener
- Napkins
- Trash and recycling containers
- Some chips and dip
- A large water dispenser, with slices of fruit floating in it
- A cooler box with a variety of chilled non-alcoholic drinks
- Wine
- Cornhole set (because we’re Mid-Westerners at heart)
In addition, neighbors brought all sorts of things, including homemade dips, homemade cookies, various drinks, and so on. One couple from up the road was unwell and didn’t want to spread their germs, but still sent a drink to the group!
What happened:
Inevitably no one showed up at the appointed start time!! But that gave us a few extra minutes to pray together for the Spirit’s hospitable presence to be over the evening.
By the way, before we pick a date for a party, we always check at least one or two of our closer households can be there. That way, even if nobody else comes along, we’ll simply invest more deeply into them.
About 7:15 people began coming along. Some folks only had time to pop in, others stayed for longer, others for the whole evening. We had one couple walking by (who didn’t know about the party) join in as we knew them a little, so that led to some great connection with them.
The evening flew by – we began breaking things down about 11.15pm once we realized the time, and there were still people chatting outside once we’d finished clearing everything away!
Conversations:
There were so many great conversations, with and without us. I had quite a spiritual conversation with one couple, as they were asking about the naturally supernatural side to our work. They were intrigued! We each had meaningful conversations with neighbors, which opens up the way for future deeper connections.
One woman told me how she’s lived in our street for 25 years, but it wasn’t until we moved in and started to connect neighbors together that she began to know many people. She gripped my arm and declared, “You two have made this street a much better place!” That is the kind of reputation Christians are meant to have!
Follow up:
The next day we sent around some photos I’d taken, and there was a huge text chain from people saying how much they’d enjoyed the party, and how thankful they were for their neighbors.
We intentionally caught up with the couple who were unwell (who wanted to hear all about it), and I’ve already run into the wife of the spontaneous couple when I was out on a prayer walk, and we had a lovely chat.
Did anyone become a Christian? No. But were people gently nudged towards community and, we believe, more opportunities for us to show and tell of Jesus? Definitely.
And the whole thing was thoroughly enjoyable for us!
Reflect and Plan
- What kind of party could you throw in the next 60 days? Put a date on your calendar!
- Make a plan for what you’ll need to do. Begin to tell people!
- Pray, pray, pray!
Alex and Hannah Absalom
P.S. Every Thursday, Alex and Hannah send out a short, practical, equipping in the area of naturally supernatural discipleship and mission. Click here to sign up to receive the Dandelion Resourcing newsletter.