Why One-to-One Discipleship Might Be the Most Overlooked (and Needed) Tool in the Church

Dear Discipleship-first Friends,

The following blog post comes to us from our partner, Small Circle, led by Steve and Carrie McCoy. Small Circle will be leading breakouts on Unparalleled Life Change at a Table for Two at the 2025 National Disciple Making Forum on May 7^th & 8^th in Houston, TX.

Why One-to-One Discipleship?

If you’ve ever tried to eat soup with a fork, you know how frustrating it can be. That’s how many churches approach disciple making today. We often use the wrong tool for the task — or worse, try to use a “spork” approach that doesn’t excel in any particular area.

The Problem with “One Size Fits All”

Discipleship has become a somewhat generic term. Small groups. Sunday services. Sermon series. Bible classes. The truth is that not all discipleship settings are designed to produce deep, lasting, personalized transformation. And yet, many churches try to make one tool fit every context. But Jesus didn’t.

When you look closely at Jesus’s ministry, you’ll notice something powerful:

He spoke to the crowds with stories and principles.
He taught the twelve in deeper, more personal ways.
He pulled Peter, James, and John aside for even more intimate moments.
And then there was John — his closest friend. The one whom Jesus loved. The one who stayed at the cross. The one who received Revelation.

Each relationship level served a purpose. It was with John that we see the beauty of one-to-one. Not necessarily better, just different; and deeply needed.

“Nobody can have that kind of relationship with everybody. But everybody can have it with somebody.”

Why One-to-One Feels So Hard (But Doesn’t Have to Be)

Most believers aren’t against one-to-one disciple making, they’re just unsure how to do it. We’ve heard the same things over and over:

“I’m not a pastor.”
“I don’t know enough of the Bible.”
“What if I say the wrong thing?”
“I’m shy and awkward.”

Unfortunately, church culture often reinforces this insecurity. We’ve unintentionally created an expert-led environment — someone teaches, and others listen. Someone leads the group, and others follow along. It’s not malicious… it’s just the model we’ve inherited.

But what if we flipped that script?

What if ordinary people had access to simple tools that gave them the confidence and clarity to sit across from someone and walk with them in faith?

That’s why Small Circle exists.

A Tool Designed for the Spoon Moments

In a world full of forks and sporks, we’re here to be the spoon — the right tool for the job of one-to-one disciple making.

Small Circle’s resources are:

Free (yes, really — donor funded and available to everyone)
Easy to use (built for everyday people, not just leaders)
Mobile friendly (download the app and go!)
Global (translated into 75+ languages and used in 140+ countries)

We designed the materials to be creative, interactive, and deeply personal. Through features like labs, journaling, and shared life tracking, people experience something deeper than just fill-in-the-blank content — they experience transformation. Jesus used metaphors, stories, pictures — fig trees, weddings, seeds, bread. So, we built our tools to reflect that same creativity and connection.

What Happens When You Sit One-to-One

When someone sits across from another person in a safe, Spirit-led, intentional space, here’s what begins to happen:

Secrets come out of hiding.
Shame starts to lose its grip.
Burdens get shared.
Walls begin to fall.
Real healing begins.

And over time, those being discipled become disciple makers themselves. That’s how the Kingdom multiplies.

Not Just Another Program — It’s the Missing Piece

We love groups. We lead them. We host them. But we know their limits. You can’t expect a fork to act like a spoon. Groups have a purpose. One-to-one has another.

Most churches are missing this final puzzle piece. When you add it, suddenly the whole picture comes into view. People don’t just attend or participate — they grow, they open up, they multiply. Distinction doesn’t mean superiority. We’re not trying to replace what’s already working. We’re offering what’s missing.

So… Where Do You Start?

Start with one relationship. One conversation. One person.

You don’t have to be a Bible expert. You don’t need to preach. You just need to be willing to walk with someone — like Jesus did with John.

Everything you need is already available:

📲 Download the Small Circle app
📘 Grab a free booklet or use the digital tools
🎥 Watch the free training videos
👫 Invite someone into a one-to-one journey

It’s not complicated. It’s not flashy. But it works — because it’s personal, it’s intentional, and it reflects the way of Jesus.

Final Thought:

Discipleship doesn’t need to be overwhelming. You don’t need a platform. You just need a heart.

Let’s set the spork down. Let’s stop trying to force a one-size-fits-all method. Let’s make room for the one-to-one relationships that Jesus used to change the world. Someone out there is waiting to be seen, known, and discipled and it might just start with you.

Join with Steve and Carrie McCoy from Small Circle at the 2025 National Disciple Making Forum on May 7^th & 8^th in Houston, TX.