Dear Discipleship-first Friends,
A few weeks ago, I was in one of my discipling groups with a man who is new to discipling relationships (and involvement in a local church). We talked about one of the questions that I use in my micro-discipling group (we call them Transformation Groups, or T-Groups). Here is the question:
“With whom do you need to share the hope of Jesus and how will you be intentional about that?”
He agreed that the question was a good one. And it pointed to something he wants to do, but then he said: “But I am afraid that if I shared with someone and they followed up and asked questions, I wouldn’t know what to do.” As soon as he said those words, I was reminded of all the people I have known over the years who expressed similar thoughts.
Until you become trained and coached in good disciple-making methodology, you will naturally be fearful of the call to make disciples.
This is a bigger problem than a lack of desire or conviction in most churches. People believe the gospel and that Jesus is the only sure way of salvation—and they desire that others be saved and grow into Christlikeness (the two parts of discipling relationships: evangelism and Christ-formation; see passages like Colossians 1:28–29; Galatians 2:20).
Will you personally disciple others? For many, those words stir up more fear than faith. We ask ourselves:
“What would I even say?”
“How would I do it?”
“When would I find the time?”
“Do I really want to?”
If this is you—or someone you are discipling—you’re not alone. Every believer has wrestled with these questions. Let’s face them one by one and find confidence in the One who called us.
- “I Don’t Know What Content I Would Use.” (The Message)
Many Christians want to make disciples but freeze at the question, “What would I teach?” They assume disciple making requires deep theological expertise. But the heart of disciple making is not information—it’s transformation through simple awareness of the teachings of Jesus.
At the same time, most churches and church leaders make the mistake of not putting the core teachings in a package that fits discipling relationships. People in the church do not make disciples because they lack the basic teaching tools.
It is easier for church leaders to provide those tools than they might think.
The church where I serve as lead pastor uses a book I wrote called, Trust and Follow Jesus. But there is an even simpler model you might consider. After going through Trust and Follow Jesus (we use it because of the introductory format and it is a catechism for the beliefs of our church), I transition to this simple, effective, and reproducible mode
a. Read a Chapter and Pray Each Day – Read one chapter a day in the New Testament (through YouVersion.com) and pray using a format based on the Lord’s Prayer. It takes 10–15 minutes a day—perfect for newcomers or mature disciples. They complete the New Testament in a year, the length of time our group meets.
b. Focus on Five Questions – Answer one question a day only, but complete five each week:
- The Word of God – What truth stood out to you in Scripture, and why?
- The Spirit of God – While reading or praying, what did you sense the Holy Spirit saying to you?
- The Holiness of God – Where do you need to surrender to Jesus’ Kingship/Lordship, and why?
- The People of God – How has your love for God’s people in the church been expressed this week?
- The Mission of God – With whom do you need to share the hope of Jesus, and how will you be intentional about it?
c. Meet Weekly and Answer the Five Questions – That’s it. Simple and powerful.
You don’t have to be an expert—just a guide. The Bible provides the message; the Holy Spirit provides the power, you serve as the intentional disciple maker. As Paul said, *“My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power.” (*1 Corinthians 2:4)
- “I Don’t Know How to Disciple People.” (The Method)
This next fear is about method: “What does disciple making actually look like?” It’s simpler than we think. Jesus gave us the model.
He spent time with a few people—teaching, praying, serving, and sharing life. His method was relational, intentional, and reproducible.
So when my unchurched friend said, “I’m afraid that if I shared with someone and they followed up, I wouldn’t know what to do,” I reminded him of our method: just take others through the same process we’re going through together in this group. Do with others, what we are doing together.
Every church needs a simple, effective, and reproducible model.
Once someone has been discipled through your model, they can disciple others using the same process.
Here’s a simple rhythm for forming and leading a discipling group:
- Fast and pray about who to invite into your group.
- Get an apprentice leader (who will lead the next group).
- Hold an information meeting and ask for a set commitment (to the group and time).
- Meet weekly with two to four others.
- Open the Bible together in a simple way.
- Go through the five questions.
- Talk honestly about faith and struggles.
- Pray for one another and check in during the week.
- Explain your plan to multiply early and often (so they know where the group is going).
- Multiply one group into two.
Disciple making is caught more than taught. It’s intentional friendship with a plan, a spiritual purpose, and an intentional commitment.
- “I Don’t Have the Time.” (The Schedule)
This one hits home for almost everyone. Life feels busy, packed, and overwhelming. But here’s a question: If Jesus commanded us to make disciples, how can we afford not to?
If we truly love people and know Jesus, we’ll naturally want others to receive salvation in Him (as we did) and grow to become more like him (as we are) (see Matthew 28:19–20; Galatians 2:20).
Making disciples isn’t one more thing to fit into your life—it’s a lifestyle of love for God and people.
It’s about making the mission of Jesus one of the main things you build your life around.
I tell people it takes about five hours a week to holistically disciple a group of two to four others. Much of that time is simply reframing what’s already part of your life. Outside the weekly meeting (which takes 1.5 hours to meet; 15-30 for travel):
- Call a group member during your commute.
- Send two encouraging texts each week.
- Meet a group member for lunch.
- Attend a game or have a picnic together.
- Invite someone to serve with you.
- Include discipling group members in your normal family activities.
That’s how Jesus did it—during meals, walks, and shared experiences.
The issue isn’t time; it’s priority.
When we seek God’s kingdom first, everything else falls into place.
*“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (*Matthew 6:33)
- “Do I Really Want to Do It?” (The Heart)
Now we get personal. Sometimes the issue isn’t content, method, or schedule—it’s motivation. Do I actually want to make disciples?
We know Jesus calls us to do it, but our hearts hesitate. Maybe we fear awkwardness. Maybe we love comfort. Maybe we’re tired—or, again, just don’t want to give up the necessary time.
But Jesus didn’t hide the cost of following Him. He said, whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24) Discipleship always costs something—but the reward is far greater.
When you help someone grow in Christ, your own faith deepens. You experience God’s power working through you. You see transformation—and that joy is worth every sacrifice.
And you become a more loving person… as you disciple others you are learning to love people the way Jesus loved people (his disciples)…
Peter once told Jesus, “We’ve left everything to follow you.” Jesus replied that no one who does that will fail to receive a hundred times more—now and in eternity. (Mark 10:28–30)
**The cost of disciple making is real, but so is the reward.**
From Fear to Faithful Obedience
If you feel afraid to make disciples, you’re in good company. Every disciple of Jesus starts there. But remember: Jesus doesn’t call you to do this alone. His final command comes with a promise: *“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (*Matthew 28:20)
You already have what you need:
- The message (Jesus and His Word)
- The method (intentional, relational discipleship)
- The time (much of it already woven into your daily life)
- The motivation (love for Christ and others)
So take one small step today. Pray for God to open doors. Invite two to four people to meet weekly. Follow a simple, effective, and reproducible model.
Because when you move from fear to obedience, you’ll discover that the same Jesus who called you walks right beside you—through the ups and downs of life-changing discipling relationships.
Let’s not be afraid!
For King Jesus,