Milk to Meat

This summer, one of my mom’s friends came to visit her. Since my mom lives with us, her friend was in our home for the visit. There was no great plan for her visit, just friends reconnecting. Well, except for the deep-sea fishing trip. My mom’s small group came to meet her friend while painting together. Mostly, my mom and her friend talked, laughed, relaxed, and rejuvenated.

Of course, when someone is staying in your home, food eventually comes up. Let me give you a little background before I move on. A few years ago, I began cooking a lot cleaner and subscribed to a menu plan that makes it easy. The menu plan adds things we have not tried before, which works well since most in my family are adventurous eaters.

On the other side, my mom’s friend was trying to make healthier choices. She had a support group that she met with each week. Each week they would weigh in and then encourage one another. My mom’s friend had some success losing weight since joining the group. Yet, healthy foods did not appeal to her, and frying was the best way she knew to cook things.

These two storylines met at the dinner table in my home. For all my married years, twenty-nine to date, I have been a strong believer in enjoying at least one meal a day around the table with the family. Dinner is usually the meal when most of our schedules connect. This holds true with guests, whether visiting around dinner time or staying in our home for a few days, all are welcome to sit down with us.

And so, my mom’s friend joined us each night for a dinner of healthy food. It was outside what she had experienced before, and in her defense, some of it was outside what I had experienced before. Take the chicken and plantain waffles. Yes, waffles made of blended green plantains, oil, and egg. Then there was the tofu stir-fry. I gave this disclaimer for the stir-fry, “You don’t have to like this.” As it turned out we liked both of these ‘interesting’ recipes. My mom’s friend liked them so much, she asked for the recipes so she could make them when she returned home.

In a week of dinners together my mom’s friend was able to try things she was hesitant about, ok totally against in some cases; think tofu. She moved from what she knew (frying everything) to something new (healthy cooking and eating). As she watched me prep and cook the meals she would say, “I can do this when I get home.” All she needed was to experience something different in a safe setting.

This is what disciples need also. This is what Jesus gave to the Twelve. He allowed them to watch him invite people, welcome people, heal people. They witnessed his miracles and saw how he dealt with people who were against him. Jesus invited the disciples in and walked with them for a time. Take a moment to imagine Peter without the three years he spent with Jesus. That would have been a big mess.

Jesus did not expect the new believer to act like a mature believer. He knew that time is needed for growth to happen.

When I think of the verse in 1 Corinthians 3:2, I think of a baby.

“I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready.”

In this verse, Paul likens milk with the basic understanding of God and His ways and meat as the deeper or more advanced understandings. For the first six months of a baby’s life, professionals advise they only have milk. No cereal, no baby food, just milk. At six months, parents can begin to introduce soft foods and as the baby develops and adjusts to soft food, more can be introduced until the child can handle meat. In this process the baby moves from milk to meat. What happens when this process is not followed?

Let me share from my personal experience. When I have been on a restricted diet due to a bad tummy or a trip abroad, I want a hamburger when I am back. I am not talking about a little fast-food burger. I want the $15 burger at the sit-down restaurant. And what is a burger without fries? If you have never gone from a very restricted diet to a greasy fried meal, I can save you some pain and tell you it does not go well. All because I want what I want without going through the process.

Spiritual development is a process. It takes time, lots of time. So often as leaders we forget about the time it takes in the process of spiritual growth with the people we lead. Like me after a restricted diet, we want something now, or better, we ‘need’ someone in that spot now. Essentially, we’ve given a baby meat and then wonder why they choke. A better way is to yield to the process. The process we use to wean babies. The process we use to move from a restricted diet back to a normal diet. The process Jesus shows as He develops the Apostles.

This process is like what happened in my home this summer. Our friend came to our home and she wanted to do something she had never done before. All her life she has eaten fried foods. She never learned how to prepare healthy foods. She had not tasted healthy foods and so she did not think she enjoyed them. Yet, she wanted to be healthy and lose weight. She had done what she knew to do, she joined a support group and tried to watch what she ate. She was faithful to the group, she weighed herself on the appointed day of the week and talked to the group while she was in our home. She had heard of cooking and eating healthy foods and understood its importance, yet did not know how to live a healthy life.

I offered our friend an opportunity to see what it is like to live that life. I showed her what it looked like to prepare healthy food every day. She was able to see what I brought home from the grocery store. She was in the kitchen as I prepared meals. We sat down together to eat. There was space for her to voice what she thought of the food, she could say she did not like the food without me taking offense. I also challenged her to eat familiar items in a different way than she usually did – think a salad with homemade vinaigrette instead of ranch. By the end of her time with us, she had a new perspective and a new desire to live a healthy life. She was encouraged.

As disciple-makers we have a similar opportunity. We must choose to see people, especially those who have sat in our pews for decades, where they are instead of where we would like for them to be. Then we work from there to provide spaces where the Holy Spirit has an opportunity to develop them and move them from milk to meat. We need to be honest with them, tell them it may feel strange at first, but all new things do.

We must choose to let them see how we do it and invite them to join us.

Most of us spend time in the Word and praying with those we lead and disciple.

How could you spend time in solitude and silence with them?

What could it look like to fast together?

What can you show them about practicing a Sabbath?

Now, I must confess. I have done the very thing I have suggested we as leaders should not do. I have assumed you are participating with God as He moves you from milk to meat. I have assumed you are practicing certain aspects of spiritual development and are able to show someone else how to do it. In order for someone to see you do something, you have to actually be doing it.

Are you continually moving from milk to meat in your relationship with Christ?

This post originally appeared at: https://thebonhoefferproject.com/weeklycolumn/milktomeat