Being Discipled

As we conclude our  journey through the characteristics of a disciple together, I am abundantly aware of the fact that, in order for us to be Christlike disciple makers, we too must continually be discipled.

From the beginning of my walk with Christ, I was incredibly blessed to be discipled by my pastor’s wife, though I didn’t know that’s what it was called at the time. She taught me how to love God with my whole heart and, as a result, how to let that love flow out of me and into the lives of others. But she didn’t do this by just telling me about it, she modeled it for me by letting me become part of her daily life. She took me under her wing and showed me what it looks like, practically, to follow Jesus in everyday life. She helped me understand who God is and where my true identity is found, in Christ alone. She taught me to read my Bible, to study, understand, and apply it, and to hear from God as I read his living Word. She taught me to pray, on my own and aloud in a group. She showed me what it looks like to be a godly wife and mother. She modeled the importance of serving others and seeing them as more valuable than myself. I’m not entirely sure she even knows the immense impact she had on my life.

Yet, in my time with The Bonhoeffer Project, I have learned that my experience is not the norm. In fact, I have met many leaders within the church who have never experienced this kind of true discipleship. They understand the command to do so, and have a heart to see it fulfilled, but practically don’t know what it should look like. One day, Cindy Perkins (COO of The Bonhoeffer Project) and I were talking about this fact. You see, she had never been discipled either and she told me the only discipleship she had received was from a bunch of old dead guys! Namely, those who wrote her Bible and well-known theologians from years past like John Wesley, Martin Luther, C.S. Lewis, Dallas Willard, and, of course, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Yet, her soul hungered for more. She longed for heart-transforming, deeply connected discipleship with another living, breathing human being.

We can watch all the YouTube videos we want on how to ________________ (fill in the blank), but until we take action and actually practice, we’ll never become proficient. My stepfather once told me that he sat on his couch and watched every single workout from P90X, and didn’t lose a single pound! Being discipled takes us beyond merely reading about discipleship to truly experiencing the real-life transformation that happens when we are intentionally taught and shepherded. It takes us past the conceptual to something experiential.

When talking about discipleship, I often have the mindset of discipling others. I have heard many leaders use the example of Jesus walking with his disciples for 3 years and then create discipleship plans that consist of doing the same, while others have shortened it to a year or less. But I often wonder, would Jesus have continued teaching his disciples if he hadn’t died, resurrected, and ascended back to heaven? Or, furthermore, did that stop him? He did send us the Holy Spirit after all. Is there an expiration date on being discipled? Do we ever need to stop being taught?

The writer of Hebrews challenges us to, “Discover creative ways to encourage others and to motivate them toward acts of compassion, doing beautiful works as expressions of love. This is not the time to pull away and neglect meeting together, as some have formed the habit of doing. In fact, we should come together even more frequently, eager to encourage and urge each other onward as we anticipate that day dawning” (Hebrews 10:24-25 TPT).

For those of us in the discipleship community, those with a heart for making disciples and seeing Jesus’ final command fulfilled, we absolutely understand the need to continue making disciples who make disciples, who make disciples, and so on. But do we truly understand the importance of continuing to be discipled ourselves? If we put an end date on being discipled, or set a maturity benchmark, I believe we run the risk of believing we’ve arrived and, therefore, need no more guidance.

Let’s look to the early church for a picture of what continual discipleship should look like. Luke paints a beautiful picture of the community of believers in Acts 2:

Every believer was faithfully devoted to following the teachings of the apostles. Their hearts were mutually linked to one another, sharing communion and coming together regularly for prayer. A deep sense of holy awe swept over everyone, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. All the believers were in fellowship as one body, and they shared with one another whatever they had. Out of generosity they even sold their assets to distribute the proceeds to those who were in need among them. Daily they met together in the temple courts and in one another’s homes to celebrate communion. They shared meals together with joyful hearts and tender humility. They were continually filled with praises to God, enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord kept adding to their number daily those who were coming to life.
– Acts 2:42-47 TPT

This was much more than church on Sundays and maybe a Bible study on Wednesdays. This was an authentic, unified body of believers living life together every single day. They certainly were not all the same, but rather a family, brothers and sisters in Christ, made up of different cultures, races, ethnicities, and varying levels of spiritual maturity. These people knew each other on a deep level. Do you think this happened by accident, without intentionality? Absolutely not. This was true discipleship! Because of the way they lived life together, they felt a deep sense of awe for God and connection to one another.

So, how can we replicate the example the early church set for us today? How do we promote spiritual transformation, helping a new believer become a disciple-making leader, and, as a result, creating healthy, thriving churches that glorify God? Discipleship!

In the book, Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life, Paul Stanley and Roberth Clinton suggest that there are three intensive mentoring-type relationships: the discipler, the spiritual guide, and the coach.a They suggest that each different mentor style calls for more deliberate and specific interaction and works best when all three dynamics are fully present.1

Let’s take a look at each of the types individually.

DISCIPLER

According to Stanley and Clinton, the discipler entails a relational process in which a more experienced follower of Christ shares with a new believer the commitment, understanding, and basic skills necessary to know and obey Jesus Christ. The discipler teaches and enables a person to apply the gospel.2

SPIRITUAL GUIDE

The spiritual guide is a godly, mature follower of Christ who shares knowledge, skills, and basic philosophy about what it means to increasingly realize Christlikeness in all areas of life. The primary contributions of a spiritual guide are accountability, decisions, insights, concerning questions, commitments, and direction affecting spiritual (inner life motivations) and maturity (integrating truth with life).3

COACH

The coach, according to Stanley and Clinton, provides motivation and imparts skills, encouragement, and application to meet a task or challenge. The coach provides observation, feedback, and evaluation based on personal experience as the teaching vehicle.4

The answer to my previous questions is clear then. Is there an expiration date on being discipled? Do we ever need to stop being taught? No, not ever. Yes, the type of discipleship we receive will change as we grow and mature in our faith, becoming more and more like Christ. But we are all just stupid sheep, after all, in constant need of a shepherd.

So, no matter where you are at in your walk with Jesus, if you are not currently being discipled, I want to strongly encourage you to spend intentional time in prayer today, asking God to show you who that person needs to be for you. And, then, ask them to disciple you! God is faithful to answer the prayers of those who diligently seek him (Psalm 65:2).

This post originally appeared at: Being Discipled — The Bonhoeffer Project